Can you get an STI without having sex?

Sex means different things to different people, and how you define sex is up to you. In this article, we use “sex” to mean any activity done for sexual pleasure which involves the genitals – either your own, someone else’s, or both.

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are usually passed on by sexual contact. This can include oral sex, fingering and genital touching, penetrative sex (penis in vagina/anus) and rimming (oral sex performed on the anus).

STIs can be caused by bacteria (i.e., gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia), parasites (trichomoniasis, scabies), or viruses (herpes, HIV, genital warts).

They can also spread in different ways. Some – like HIV or Hepatitis B – are spread through bodily fluids, like blood or semen. Others, like genital herpes and genital warts, are passed on by skin-to-skin contact.

Despite the words “sexually transmitted”, STIs can also be spread in some situations that do not involve sexual contact. In this article, we will discuss how STIs can spread outside of a sexual scenario and address some misconceptions about STI transmission.

Sharing towels, bed sheets, or clothes

Some parasitic STIs like scabies and pubic lice (crabs) can live for a short time on fabric. This means that they can be passed on by sharing clothes (especially underwear), sheets, or towels with someone who is infected. Scabies mites can survive away from human skin (e.g. on fabrics) for 2-3 days,¹ and pubic lice can survive for 24-48 hours.²

To treat scabies, everyone in a household needs to receive treatment at the same time. All the clothes you’ve worn recently and bedding in the house should also be washed.

Sharing sex toys

Shared sex toys can spread a number of different STIs, including genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis, genital warts. This occurs when body fluids which contain STI bacteria or viral particles remain on the sex toy when it is swapped between different people.

Sharing sex toys can also spread some infections that are not usually considered STIs, like bacterial vaginosis and thrush. If shared sex toys are used for anal play, they can also spread intestinal bacteria and parasites like Giardia.³

To reduce the risk of infection, you should wash sex toys thoroughly between uses, using warm water and gentle, unscented soap or a special sex toy cleaner. For extra protection, you can also put a condom or a dental dam over a sex toy.

Sharing razors or needles

Blood-borne STIs like HIV, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C can be transmitted by sharing razors. This is because tiny blood particles may stay on razors after they are used.⁴ However, this is extremely rare.

Sharing needles (e.g. for injecting drugs, or if a tattoo shop does not follow good hygiene protocols) can transmit blood-borne STIs, too.

Giving birth

Some STIs such as gonorrhoea, chlamydia, HIV, Hepatitis B and genital herpes can pass from a birthing person to the baby. This happens when the baby travels through the vagina during the birth process. HIV and syphilis can also cross the placenta and infect the baby whilst still in the womb.

All pregnant people in the UK are offered blood tests for Hepatitis B, HIV and syphilis during pregnancy, and medication (such as antibiotics, or antiretroviral drugs for HIV) can be given to reduce the risk of transmission to the baby.⁵

Many STIs, like chlamydia and gonorrhoea, can be treated during pregnancy, and antiviral medication can be given to reduce the risk of passing genital herpes to the baby if a pregnant person has herpes outbreak.

Breastfeeding or chestfeeding

HIV and syphilis can be passed to a baby through breastmilk. The chance of this is much less if there’s a very low amount of the virus within the breastfeeding/chestfeeding person’s system, to the point where it couldn’t be picked up on a test. This is known as an undetectable viral load.

However, there is still a small risk of HIV transmission even where the viral load is undetectable.⁶

Doctors and midwives can offer guidance to people living with HIV who are considering breastfeeding or chestfeeding their baby.

Next, here are some situations which do not generally cause STI transmission:

Kissing

STIs are not passed on by kissing. Oral herpes (cold sores) is not usually considered an STI, but it can – and often is – passed on by kissing.

Herpes is caused by two different viruses: HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 is often thought of as oral herpes and HSV-2 as genital herpes, but it is possible to have HSV-2 sores around your mouth and HSV-1 sores around your genitals.

Herpes, especially HSV-1, is relatively common – two-thirds of people under 50 are thought to carry the virus, although many will not show symptoms.⁷

People infected with HSV have phases where they are “shedding” the virus, which means that their bodies are producing virus particles which can be spread to others. You can minimise the risk of passing on oral herpes by avoiding kissing when you have a cold sore. However, since the herpes virus can “shed” at any time, it is possible to pass on herpes even without having symptoms.

Hugging

Since hugging does not involve any sharing of bodily fluids, it does not pass on STIs. But if the hugging/cuddling involves genital contact, like it might during sex, transmission may occur.

However, scabies can be passed through hugging or cuddling if there’s skin-to-skin contact. The longer the contact, the greater the risk of transmission.

Hot tubs and swimming pools

STIs are extremely unlikely to spread in this way because the bacteria and viruses that cause them usually only survive whilst inside the body, on the body, or in bodily fluids. However, the chlorine and other chemicals in the pool may cause genital irritation if you have sexual contact whilst in a swimming pool.

Sharing drinks or cutlery

Sharing drinks or eating utensils with somebody else is very unlikely to spread STIs.

Although it is theoretically possible to catch oral herpes from sharing a drink, utensils, or a toothbrush, in practice it is extremely unlikely. The highest risk for passing on herpes via a drink would be if you had an open, wet sore close to the mouth; if this is the case and you want to minimise the risk of transmission, you could use separate straws or avoid sharing drinks until the sore has cleared up.

If you are concerned about your risk of STIs, you can talk to a trusted health professional like your GP. If you have symptoms of an STI or think you may have one then you can access sexual health testing via services such as Sexual Health UK (https://www.sh.uk/), from your GP, or a sexual health clinic.

Featured image is an illustration of two people kissing: one is feminine-presenting and the other is not. The illustration is black-and-white and the background is a warm, bright pink colour

Page last updated February 2023
Next update due 2026