My parents don’t want me to go on ADHD medication. What now?

“So, I have some exciting news”, I nervously blurted out on a FaceTime call with my dad during the height of lockdown. “I’m seeking a diagnosis for ADHD.”

“Okay sweetheart. That’s good”, he nodded. My dad has always been supportive: I’m his only daughter. “Is there a natural way to treat it, though?” he added.

“Well, I’d like to consider ADHD medication,” I said.

In my mind, there was no other way; after 23 years of emotional turmoil, hyperactivity, and insomnia, I was desperate for answers. If I could find a pill that could provide some relief and help me understand the chemicals in my brain, then I would take it.

“I think you need to be careful. There must be another way,” he said. My heart sank.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition where brain function and development is altered, and people show either symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsion or inattentiveness.¹ We don’t yet know exactly what causes it, but we do know that it interferes with the brain’s reward system, our feelings of motivation and memory, and emotions.²

I’ve no regrets about my decision, but I regret that my dad can’t understand why I’ve chosen this journey

The most commonly prescribed medication for it is methylphenidate,³ which is a stimulant that works on parts of the brain that control attention and behaviour.

After I was diagnosed in November 2021, I was given two options: therapy or medication. Having already paid for private counselling, I chose the medication route. I was seen within three months and trialled first on methylphenidate before moving over to lisdexamfetamine. Medication isn’t a one-size fits all approach, I quickly learnt.

I’ve no regrets about my decision, but I regret that my dad can’t understand why I’ve chosen this journey.

He’s not the only one who has misgivings about the medication route. In 2018, The Guardian reported that figures by the NHS Business Services Authority indicated that children with ADHD are being undertreated in England. In 2017, just 61,000 boys between 6 and 17 – 1.5% of the overall cohort – were prescribed medication. The figures for girls were lower still: a mere 0.35%.⁴

“There’s a misunderstanding that ADHD meds are similar to anti-depressants which can have side effects that make people feel numb”

“Stigma with medication is an age-old stigma that accompanies ADHD”, says Samantha Hiew, Founder and Director of ADHD Girls Ltd.

“There’s a misunderstanding that ADHD meds are similar to anti-depressants which can have side effects that make people feel numb. There’s also the belief that we should tackle things without meds and change our lifestyle.”

While those effects may happen, we shouldn’t forget that medication can also be a great help to some people, she adds.

Other anxieties around side effects could also put someone off considering meds. For people who menstruate, hormonal imbalances during “danger week” – which Samantha says involves “higher occurrences of emotional dysregulation, feelings of despair, brain fog and an inability to work” – can also be a point of concern, for example.

Typically, “danger week” is the week before a period arrives when hormones can be heightened. “During this period of the monthly cycle, many women with ADHD find their meds don’t work for them”, Samantha explains. They then might be more likely to stop taking meds altogether, she adds. The relationship between hormones — specifically oestrogen — and ADHD is currently being explored in scientific research.⁵

For the people it helps, medication can be a gamechanger

The view we get of ADHD meds in the media doesn’t help, either. Adderall, a stimulant that boosts focus and alertness, is often presented as a performance-enhancing drug taken by stressed-out students rather than something that offers relief to those navigating a medical condition.

And for the people it helps, medication can be a gamechanger.

“As Boomers, my parents don’t really ‘get’ mental health-related stuff”, says Erica, whose family weren’t initially on board with her taking ADHD medication. But, she adds, they’re finally coming around. “My mum now realises how much it has impacted me. We have talked about staying on it, and she is supportive of me as long as it doesn’t impact me negatively.”

For Cora, receiving her ADHD diagnosis and prescription have also make a big difference. “It was life-changing, dramatic and immediate, but it was the beginning of a ten-year journey of improvement and self-discovery,” she says. “I’m fitter, healthier and happier and I couldn’t do it without my meds.”

I was lost in the system for almost 24 years, ping-ponging between the A&E — where I once admitted myself because my insomnia had become so chronic that I hadn’t slept in days — and the doctor’s surgery.

I’m still in titration, but I’ve already recognised the merits of ADHD medication. Friends have noticed I’ve greater clarity in my speech, and I’m less impulsive, less hyperactive, and better able to channel my hyperfocus, which is a heightened focus or fixation on an interest or activity for a length of time.⁶

My issues with emotional dysregulation have largely dissipated, but most importantly: I’m still me. Medication hasn’t numbed my personality or altered my brain beyond recognition; my life is enhanced. Now I can see in technicolour, but without all the background noise. I hope that one day, my family will understand that.
 
 
Featured image is a drawing of a woman standing with her hands behind her back. Only her hands, arms, and part of her torso are in the frame. In her hands she holds a box of medication that has a smiley face on it

Page last updated November 2022